Moved the blog

My blog has moved to www.shalommama.com. Thanks for reading!

nina

Reminders

Before I became a mother, I could remember all sorts of information. I often went to the grocery store, sans list, and came back with what I needed. I didn't forget my wallet and my phone was always firmly attached to my hip. Ian was the forgetful one and I was often exacerbated with him. How hard is it to remember to grab the keys from the ignition before you lock the car and shut the door, for crying out loud??? Ah, the good old days.

I am now the proud mother of three beautiful little ones (with one on the way, in case you didn't know) and those days of having it together are long gone. During one of his clever moments, Ian came up with the saying, "Mommy Brain: when your grey matter turns into grey hair." And I completely agree. I used to roll my eyes when I heard the term Mommy Brain. "Whatever," I thought, "not me." Yeah right. My brain has changed so much, I don't know what I'm doing half the time or where anything is. It's a good morning if I can locate my phone before it stops ringing.

And it is now an exercise in futility to ask me to remember something. My mom tries to do it all the time and I have to remind her that I am no longer the girl who remembers everything (unless Ian does something wrong, but that information gets filed somewhere else entirely). Nowadays, if you want me to remember something for you, it's best to text it to me once an hour for two days, write it on a post-it note and stick it on my bathroom mirror and then tattoo it on my forehead and the back of my hand so that I will be guaranteed to see it. And make sure I set a reminder on my phone.

Oh how I love the cell phone reminder. I'm now using a fancy phone - on loan from my phone-savvy brother - and it has all the bells and whistles. If I wanted to, I could use it to create a power-point presentation! If only it were that easy to answer the phone when someone calls... But I digress. Back to phone reminders. I use mine for all sorts of stuff. My newest reminder, I am embarrassed to admit, goes off to let me know that I need to brush my teeth before bed. Gross, I know, how could I forget? Easy. I have three little children and one on the way. Mommy Brain. I often have to look into the toilet just to see if I actually flushed or not. A couple of months ago I backed into my garage door. And there are days when I honestly don't know how long it's been since I've washed my hair. Yes, it really is that bad. In my defense, I usually do remember to brush my teeth, but it's not until after I climb into bed and I finally get all warm and cozy and have a little baby comfortably nursing. And then it's "Oh crap! Oh well, cavities, smchmavities, it can wait." Hence, the phone reminder.

My next reminder to add in will be to remind myself to blog. It's pretty fun and a good way to unwind after the kids are asleep. And it's especially enjoyable when I'm waiting for my new Netflix movie and I've already seen everything I have three times. Though, I have started watching the bonus features and just learned that Steel Magnolias is a true story. Welcome to my life.

Advent Conspiracy

Thanksgiving is over and Christmas is right around the corner. Black Friday has come and gone and a man was trampled to death for a meager 3% increase in sales. But it's okay, because that flat screen TV was worth it - only $499! Thank you, Jesus, for being born so that I could get that great deal on my plasma TV!

I'll be the first to admit, I was out bright and early Friday morning. I even went to Wal-mart - some movies I wanted were really cheap and I had to take a movie back to Redbox. I stood there and watched the people ready to pounce and listened to the countdown. 3. 2. 1. Go!!! There was a frenzy - over $10 blocks. Now, I really, really like a good deal, but it's not a life or death situation. Most things I buy are really cheap anyway since they've already been used. But, I was more than willing to get up at 4 in the morning to shop kid-free for a couple of hours; that kind of free time is very rare. I came home with a few good deals, mostly sewing notions, yarn and socks. However, the most useful thing I returned with was a realization that the long lines of people increasing their credit card debt was not what God had in mind when he sent his son to earth.

Black Friday was an eye-opener for me. Our idea of Christmas has become greatly distorted. I've heard the phrase many times, "Christmas just won't be very big this year." No, there just won't be very many gifts this year. There is a huge difference. Christmas itself is not about the number of presents under the tree. It's not about bonuses or work parties. It's about, you got it, Christ. The first five letters reveal it all, yet he seems to be completely forgotten in the chaos.

The other day Isaac asked me why we give presents for Christmas. "Well, it's Jesus' birthday so we give presents, um, to each other because...um, wise men. And...I'm not really sure buddy." Christmas does not equal consumerism. This year, try making gifts for each other. Give things that will be used, even if it's a package of underwear and a few pairs of socks. Offer your time or teach someone a valuable skill. Spend time with your family. Teach your kids how to give. Share your presence.

A few years ago some pastors realized this and began the Advent Conspiracy. Check it out. Make a new tradition.

Okay, before I forget, I thought I'd post some inexpensive gift ideas that I've seen recently or plan on giving. If there's anything you want more info on, send me a message or leave a comment and I'll post it on here. I'm waiting on some chicken to thaw right now, though, so I've got limited time :)

Ispy bags - like a bean bag but with a viewer window. Filled with rice and little toys for your kids to find.

Crayon rolls & coloring books

Wool dryer balls

Hooded bath towel (not the tiny baby kind) - thanks to Karen for making one for Ella!!

Scrapbook photo albums

Crocheted slippers

Felt play food

Crochet beanies

Okay, that's all for now...

Breastfeeding

I always knew that I was going to breastfeed. The problem was, I couldn't breastfeed my first two kids. It wasn't for lack of wanting. I desperately wanted to; I just didn't know that what the so-called lactation consultant told me was complete hooey. She said that I was too "firm and perky" to breastfeed.( I didn't know that was a bad thing.) She also said not to worry about breastfeeding but to just get weight on the babies. Ha! Some support. Reluctantly I followed her advice, not knowing any better, and struggled with guilt over not having been able to nurse my first two.

Enter Ella… I made sure I was educated before I had her. I switched to a wonderful midwife who had successfully breastfed three children of her own and who promised me round-the-clock support, should we need it. I also read up on a lot of information. Turns out that almost all the advice I got from that hospital lactation consultant, and I use that term very loosely, was completely incorrect. Yes, I'm still bitter. I would love to rant and rave about that incompetent person offering lactation advice to hundreds of women, but I actually intended this blog to be informational. I wanted to offer hope.
Breastfeeding your baby is the best thing for them and, after some difficult practice, completely easy and convenient. Educate yourself first on any obstacles that may need to be overcome and know the solutions before your baby is born. Otherwise, you may end up in a moron's office watching helplessly as they shove a bottle of formula in your babies mouth and tell you that you're incapable of keeping your baby alive without manufactured milk. Ah, I digress…
Dr. Jack Newman has a fantastic book out that lists all of the obstacles women face when breastfeeding called The Ultimate Breastfeeding Book of Answers. He also has several articles on his website that are yours to do with as you please. www.drjacknewman.com. (I just learned that they will have to shut down soon due to lack of funding. Please help if you can, this is an invaluable resource!)
Also, Carrie Lauth has an 84-page e-book available called the Happy Breastfeeder that is available for download for $1. No strings. She's very adamant about breastfeeding and wants to give hope and advice to mothers. Click Here to download the Happy Breastfeeder ebook. .
Finally, make sure you have lots of support. Good support. You can check out La Leche League's website for breastfeeding help in your area www.llli.org. Take it from me, good support makes all the difference in the world.

Insomnia

I envy my husband. The man can sleep anywhere, anytime. As soon as his head hits the pillow, I have anywhere from 3-5 minutes to talk to him before I hear the steady, slow breathing of a sleeping man. Same story if we have a few minutes to ourselves on the couch. When we go to visit his parents I drive and he sleeps. When we go anywhere that's more than five minutes from our house I drive and he sleeps. When he drives, I don't sleep. I sit there, thinking that if I just keep my eyes closed I'll fall asleep. It can be quite frustrating at times. For instance, bedtime is about the only time that we can talk without any interruptions. With him being so busy, it's almost the only alone-time we get together. But, alas, it is usually short-lived because he falls asleep, mid-sentence, about 5 minutes after we get in bed. Oh, I wish I could sleep that easily. I've always had the opposite problem. Take last night, for instance; I stayed up really late because I had some caffeinated tea at about 3 pm (the man can drink a Rockstar and sleep like a baby an hour later. If I even think about a Pepsi after noon I'm doomed to be up until at least midnight). I was finally tired enough to hit the sack around 1 am. Then I just lay there, thinking. Then I thought some more and my mind went off on all sorts of crazy tangents... "I should write a book. About what? I don't know, something good. Man, I really have a lot of laundry to do tomorrow. The house is a mess. My hair is in my face again, I should put it back in a ponytail. Well, if I do that it's uncomfortable to sleep on my back. My hair is really soft. I want some more of that grape juice my dad made." And so it went, on and on and on. When I finally fell asleep, I couldn't stay asleep. I must have woken up six times and then struggled to fall asleep again until Eva decided she wanted to sit in bed and talk to herself at 6:30. So I got up and got her some milk and tried to go back to sleep. It was then that I started thinking about that laundry again. So I got up and started some laundry and then tried to go back to sleep. No luck. I reached the point where I was so tired I couldn't sleep. The problem is that I think too much. My husband on the other hand, has the wonderful ability to turn off his thinking whenever he chooses and just zone out. That reminds me of this hilarious clip a friend sent me about the difference between male and female brains. So funny, you should watch it. http://marriageresourcecenter.org/twobrains.htm. Sorry about the tangent... I have to get back to my laundry.

Sleepy Wrap is the best ever!!

It is my belief that when you find a product that you absolutely love, you should tell people about it. Well, I have found something and I think every parent should know about it. It's my Sleepy Wrap. I love it. I've tried other baby carriers: the New Native (my other favorite), the Ultimate Baby Wrap and the Moby Wrap. Now, I thought that my Ultimate and my Moby were excellent, that is, until I tried the Sleepy Wrap. I have to admit that I was initially drawn to them because of the cost. At $38.95 it was the cheaper that my Moby. I looked on their website and was pleased to see that they believe in many of the same things I do: breastfeeding, homebirth, sustainable living and attachment parenting, just to name a few. They claimed that their wrap was the best and that you never needed to re-tie it, even after putting the baby in and taking it out multiple times. "Well,' I thought, 'I'll just see how you compare to my Moby." Man was I pleasantly surprised. The first thing I noticed was that the fabric was super soft and stretchy and it didn't sag after putting the baby in, either. I liked that I didn't get too hot carrying the baby around and that I could comfortably carry either Eva or Ella in it. The best thing of all? I ran errands the other day with Ella. I had six stops total. I decided to put on my Sleepy Wrap before I left home and I put her in it at every stop. By the time I got home, I still had not re-tied the wrap and I could put her in it with no sag. Fabulous. Check it out for yourself: www.naturemamastore.com.

Some things I've learned about myself

A few things I've learned about myself:
I LOVE GOD. Yes, I said it. I am a Christian, a Jesus Freak, even. If that bothers you, well, that's me. I am defined by that and am becoming a completely different, better person because of my relationship with Christ. I've given my life over to Him and in doing so, my life has become richer and more satisfying. Yes, there are still struggles: financial, emotional, marriage issues, but I give my worries to God and am filled with a peace that I spent years seeking.

I am beautiful. It's taken a long time to realize, but I am. And realizing that has led me to discover that yes, I might be nice to look at, but my heart, who I truly am, is even more amazing.

I love babies. I love holding them, kissing them, snuggling them. Best yet is being a mother to them. I started off wanting four, then during the labor of my second child I swore that I would never, ever do that again! Well, my heart has changed and I want more. How many more? God alone knows. I do know that being a mom is the most amazing thing ever. And while labor is THE most painful thing I've ever experienced it's also the most amazing. I also know that I desperately want to adopt. There are so many orphaned children out there who need to be loved.

I have a LOT of love to give and I love to give it. I used to think it was a bad thing; I would get hurt a lot. But now I know it's a wonderful gift. I love caring for people. It's my passion.

I really do like to exercise. Words I thought I would never say J It's so exhilarating, so freeing. The body is so amazing; the way everything works together is just awesome. Why waste it?

I really am a good wife. I think that it's a good and honorable thing to respect and serve your husband. I don't mean being his slave, but to cook meals, respect him, do things for him out of the love of your heart. I'm no pushover, though. He does his share and makes my job as a wife and mother much easier.

I love to sing. I don't do it well very often, but I love it nonetheless. Praise music is my absolute favorite. I could sing along with Erin Zurflu all day.

In shedding my false self and seeking the person that I was created to be, I've found that I really do love myself and that I have a lot of glory to offer. There have been many people that I've known who were hell-bent on keeping me from discovering the beautiful qualities of myself, and they were victorious for quite some time, but I'm starting to tune them out.

I AM NOT PERFECT and don't pretend to be. Sometimes I say the wrong thing. I like to drink wine, sometimes more than I should. I nag my husband. There are times when I find myself cussing like a sailor. I have more faults than I could ever remember or care to list. I am definitely a work in progress.

Reflection on God's grace

In my constant quest to be closer to God, I find myself still disappointed with the lack of progress. One of the top things on my "ways get closer to God list" is daily devotion in my Bible. Hmmm, more like almost never. I find it disappointing because I'd love to be more familiar with the Bible. Most times, when I'm interested in finding out about something, I attack the subject. I read whatever I can get my hands on (or Google). I read and read and read until I feel pretty confident about what I know. Not so here. Why is that? If you are familiar with John Eldredge, you'll know what he says about the enemy attacking us and constantly trying to meddle in our lives and steer our hearts away from God. He's totally doing that with me right now. A couple of years ago (wow, feels like a few months) I was so close to God. He healed my heart of some pretty crazy junk and I felt so hopeful. Now, I find myself trapped in moments of doubt and hopelessness - will we ever be financially free? Will Ian ever get hired at a better dept? It can be so disheartening. The other day I was throwing myself a pity party and I could feel His gentle nudging at my heart. It was then that I realized that I was being passive with the enemy's attack. Rather than standing up and fighting the crap that was being thrown at me, I laid down and went with it. This enlightenment helped so much. I lifted the situation in prayer and that was it. Peace. I remembered why I had been transformed from worry wort to carefree and I just let go and gave it to God. Try it. Pray for peace and understanding and give it over to Him. Thank God for the blessings in your life and ask for more. They will come. They always do.

Wow, that's totally not where I had intended to go with this posting, but I guess He had other plans:)

On a mission

Okay, so I've been praying a lot lately about ways that I can work at home so that Ian can quit his second job (especially since he'll be starting school full-time in a month). Well, the ideas are flowing! I can't seem to do anything now without something popping in my head that I need to write down. I've also been having some "coincigod" experiences. Yay! So my latest ideas have been a site on natural parenting, something near and dear to my heart. Check out www.naturesmother.org and click away! Ian and I have also agreed that it would be a good idea for me to start an online retail store. I'll be retailing, you guessed it, products for natural parenting. That would be stuff like cloth diapers, slings, herbal remedies, etc. I registered with the state today and Nature Mama is now official. Praise God from whom all blessings flow! I'd appreciate the support and definitely the prayer...