Advent Conspiracy

Thanksgiving is over and Christmas is right around the corner. Black Friday has come and gone and a man was trampled to death for a meager 3% increase in sales. But it's okay, because that flat screen TV was worth it - only $499! Thank you, Jesus, for being born so that I could get that great deal on my plasma TV!

I'll be the first to admit, I was out bright and early Friday morning. I even went to Wal-mart - some movies I wanted were really cheap and I had to take a movie back to Redbox. I stood there and watched the people ready to pounce and listened to the countdown. 3. 2. 1. Go!!! There was a frenzy - over $10 blocks. Now, I really, really like a good deal, but it's not a life or death situation. Most things I buy are really cheap anyway since they've already been used. But, I was more than willing to get up at 4 in the morning to shop kid-free for a couple of hours; that kind of free time is very rare. I came home with a few good deals, mostly sewing notions, yarn and socks. However, the most useful thing I returned with was a realization that the long lines of people increasing their credit card debt was not what God had in mind when he sent his son to earth.

Black Friday was an eye-opener for me. Our idea of Christmas has become greatly distorted. I've heard the phrase many times, "Christmas just won't be very big this year." No, there just won't be very many gifts this year. There is a huge difference. Christmas itself is not about the number of presents under the tree. It's not about bonuses or work parties. It's about, you got it, Christ. The first five letters reveal it all, yet he seems to be completely forgotten in the chaos.

The other day Isaac asked me why we give presents for Christmas. "Well, it's Jesus' birthday so we give presents, um, to each other because...um, wise men. And...I'm not really sure buddy." Christmas does not equal consumerism. This year, try making gifts for each other. Give things that will be used, even if it's a package of underwear and a few pairs of socks. Offer your time or teach someone a valuable skill. Spend time with your family. Teach your kids how to give. Share your presence.

A few years ago some pastors realized this and began the Advent Conspiracy. Check it out. Make a new tradition.

Okay, before I forget, I thought I'd post some inexpensive gift ideas that I've seen recently or plan on giving. If there's anything you want more info on, send me a message or leave a comment and I'll post it on here. I'm waiting on some chicken to thaw right now, though, so I've got limited time :)

Ispy bags - like a bean bag but with a viewer window. Filled with rice and little toys for your kids to find.

Crayon rolls & coloring books

Wool dryer balls

Hooded bath towel (not the tiny baby kind) - thanks to Karen for making one for Ella!!

Scrapbook photo albums

Crocheted slippers

Felt play food

Crochet beanies

Okay, that's all for now...

Breastfeeding

I always knew that I was going to breastfeed. The problem was, I couldn't breastfeed my first two kids. It wasn't for lack of wanting. I desperately wanted to; I just didn't know that what the so-called lactation consultant told me was complete hooey. She said that I was too "firm and perky" to breastfeed.( I didn't know that was a bad thing.) She also said not to worry about breastfeeding but to just get weight on the babies. Ha! Some support. Reluctantly I followed her advice, not knowing any better, and struggled with guilt over not having been able to nurse my first two.

Enter Ella… I made sure I was educated before I had her. I switched to a wonderful midwife who had successfully breastfed three children of her own and who promised me round-the-clock support, should we need it. I also read up on a lot of information. Turns out that almost all the advice I got from that hospital lactation consultant, and I use that term very loosely, was completely incorrect. Yes, I'm still bitter. I would love to rant and rave about that incompetent person offering lactation advice to hundreds of women, but I actually intended this blog to be informational. I wanted to offer hope.
Breastfeeding your baby is the best thing for them and, after some difficult practice, completely easy and convenient. Educate yourself first on any obstacles that may need to be overcome and know the solutions before your baby is born. Otherwise, you may end up in a moron's office watching helplessly as they shove a bottle of formula in your babies mouth and tell you that you're incapable of keeping your baby alive without manufactured milk. Ah, I digress…
Dr. Jack Newman has a fantastic book out that lists all of the obstacles women face when breastfeeding called The Ultimate Breastfeeding Book of Answers. He also has several articles on his website that are yours to do with as you please. www.drjacknewman.com. (I just learned that they will have to shut down soon due to lack of funding. Please help if you can, this is an invaluable resource!)
Also, Carrie Lauth has an 84-page e-book available called the Happy Breastfeeder that is available for download for $1. No strings. She's very adamant about breastfeeding and wants to give hope and advice to mothers. Click Here to download the Happy Breastfeeder ebook. .
Finally, make sure you have lots of support. Good support. You can check out La Leche League's website for breastfeeding help in your area www.llli.org. Take it from me, good support makes all the difference in the world.

Insomnia

I envy my husband. The man can sleep anywhere, anytime. As soon as his head hits the pillow, I have anywhere from 3-5 minutes to talk to him before I hear the steady, slow breathing of a sleeping man. Same story if we have a few minutes to ourselves on the couch. When we go to visit his parents I drive and he sleeps. When we go anywhere that's more than five minutes from our house I drive and he sleeps. When he drives, I don't sleep. I sit there, thinking that if I just keep my eyes closed I'll fall asleep. It can be quite frustrating at times. For instance, bedtime is about the only time that we can talk without any interruptions. With him being so busy, it's almost the only alone-time we get together. But, alas, it is usually short-lived because he falls asleep, mid-sentence, about 5 minutes after we get in bed. Oh, I wish I could sleep that easily. I've always had the opposite problem. Take last night, for instance; I stayed up really late because I had some caffeinated tea at about 3 pm (the man can drink a Rockstar and sleep like a baby an hour later. If I even think about a Pepsi after noon I'm doomed to be up until at least midnight). I was finally tired enough to hit the sack around 1 am. Then I just lay there, thinking. Then I thought some more and my mind went off on all sorts of crazy tangents... "I should write a book. About what? I don't know, something good. Man, I really have a lot of laundry to do tomorrow. The house is a mess. My hair is in my face again, I should put it back in a ponytail. Well, if I do that it's uncomfortable to sleep on my back. My hair is really soft. I want some more of that grape juice my dad made." And so it went, on and on and on. When I finally fell asleep, I couldn't stay asleep. I must have woken up six times and then struggled to fall asleep again until Eva decided she wanted to sit in bed and talk to herself at 6:30. So I got up and got her some milk and tried to go back to sleep. It was then that I started thinking about that laundry again. So I got up and started some laundry and then tried to go back to sleep. No luck. I reached the point where I was so tired I couldn't sleep. The problem is that I think too much. My husband on the other hand, has the wonderful ability to turn off his thinking whenever he chooses and just zone out. That reminds me of this hilarious clip a friend sent me about the difference between male and female brains. So funny, you should watch it. http://marriageresourcecenter.org/twobrains.htm. Sorry about the tangent... I have to get back to my laundry.

Sleepy Wrap is the best ever!!

It is my belief that when you find a product that you absolutely love, you should tell people about it. Well, I have found something and I think every parent should know about it. It's my Sleepy Wrap. I love it. I've tried other baby carriers: the New Native (my other favorite), the Ultimate Baby Wrap and the Moby Wrap. Now, I thought that my Ultimate and my Moby were excellent, that is, until I tried the Sleepy Wrap. I have to admit that I was initially drawn to them because of the cost. At $38.95 it was the cheaper that my Moby. I looked on their website and was pleased to see that they believe in many of the same things I do: breastfeeding, homebirth, sustainable living and attachment parenting, just to name a few. They claimed that their wrap was the best and that you never needed to re-tie it, even after putting the baby in and taking it out multiple times. "Well,' I thought, 'I'll just see how you compare to my Moby." Man was I pleasantly surprised. The first thing I noticed was that the fabric was super soft and stretchy and it didn't sag after putting the baby in, either. I liked that I didn't get too hot carrying the baby around and that I could comfortably carry either Eva or Ella in it. The best thing of all? I ran errands the other day with Ella. I had six stops total. I decided to put on my Sleepy Wrap before I left home and I put her in it at every stop. By the time I got home, I still had not re-tied the wrap and I could put her in it with no sag. Fabulous. Check it out for yourself: www.naturemamastore.com.

Some things I've learned about myself

A few things I've learned about myself:
I LOVE GOD. Yes, I said it. I am a Christian, a Jesus Freak, even. If that bothers you, well, that's me. I am defined by that and am becoming a completely different, better person because of my relationship with Christ. I've given my life over to Him and in doing so, my life has become richer and more satisfying. Yes, there are still struggles: financial, emotional, marriage issues, but I give my worries to God and am filled with a peace that I spent years seeking.

I am beautiful. It's taken a long time to realize, but I am. And realizing that has led me to discover that yes, I might be nice to look at, but my heart, who I truly am, is even more amazing.

I love babies. I love holding them, kissing them, snuggling them. Best yet is being a mother to them. I started off wanting four, then during the labor of my second child I swore that I would never, ever do that again! Well, my heart has changed and I want more. How many more? God alone knows. I do know that being a mom is the most amazing thing ever. And while labor is THE most painful thing I've ever experienced it's also the most amazing. I also know that I desperately want to adopt. There are so many orphaned children out there who need to be loved.

I have a LOT of love to give and I love to give it. I used to think it was a bad thing; I would get hurt a lot. But now I know it's a wonderful gift. I love caring for people. It's my passion.

I really do like to exercise. Words I thought I would never say J It's so exhilarating, so freeing. The body is so amazing; the way everything works together is just awesome. Why waste it?

I really am a good wife. I think that it's a good and honorable thing to respect and serve your husband. I don't mean being his slave, but to cook meals, respect him, do things for him out of the love of your heart. I'm no pushover, though. He does his share and makes my job as a wife and mother much easier.

I love to sing. I don't do it well very often, but I love it nonetheless. Praise music is my absolute favorite. I could sing along with Erin Zurflu all day.

In shedding my false self and seeking the person that I was created to be, I've found that I really do love myself and that I have a lot of glory to offer. There have been many people that I've known who were hell-bent on keeping me from discovering the beautiful qualities of myself, and they were victorious for quite some time, but I'm starting to tune them out.

I AM NOT PERFECT and don't pretend to be. Sometimes I say the wrong thing. I like to drink wine, sometimes more than I should. I nag my husband. There are times when I find myself cussing like a sailor. I have more faults than I could ever remember or care to list. I am definitely a work in progress.

Reflection on God's grace

In my constant quest to be closer to God, I find myself still disappointed with the lack of progress. One of the top things on my "ways get closer to God list" is daily devotion in my Bible. Hmmm, more like almost never. I find it disappointing because I'd love to be more familiar with the Bible. Most times, when I'm interested in finding out about something, I attack the subject. I read whatever I can get my hands on (or Google). I read and read and read until I feel pretty confident about what I know. Not so here. Why is that? If you are familiar with John Eldredge, you'll know what he says about the enemy attacking us and constantly trying to meddle in our lives and steer our hearts away from God. He's totally doing that with me right now. A couple of years ago (wow, feels like a few months) I was so close to God. He healed my heart of some pretty crazy junk and I felt so hopeful. Now, I find myself trapped in moments of doubt and hopelessness - will we ever be financially free? Will Ian ever get hired at a better dept? It can be so disheartening. The other day I was throwing myself a pity party and I could feel His gentle nudging at my heart. It was then that I realized that I was being passive with the enemy's attack. Rather than standing up and fighting the crap that was being thrown at me, I laid down and went with it. This enlightenment helped so much. I lifted the situation in prayer and that was it. Peace. I remembered why I had been transformed from worry wort to carefree and I just let go and gave it to God. Try it. Pray for peace and understanding and give it over to Him. Thank God for the blessings in your life and ask for more. They will come. They always do.

Wow, that's totally not where I had intended to go with this posting, but I guess He had other plans:)

On a mission

Okay, so I've been praying a lot lately about ways that I can work at home so that Ian can quit his second job (especially since he'll be starting school full-time in a month). Well, the ideas are flowing! I can't seem to do anything now without something popping in my head that I need to write down. I've also been having some "coincigod" experiences. Yay! So my latest ideas have been a site on natural parenting, something near and dear to my heart. Check out www.naturesmother.org and click away! Ian and I have also agreed that it would be a good idea for me to start an online retail store. I'll be retailing, you guessed it, products for natural parenting. That would be stuff like cloth diapers, slings, herbal remedies, etc. I registered with the state today and Nature Mama is now official. Praise God from whom all blessings flow! I'd appreciate the support and definitely the prayer...

Isaac's Birth Story

I was induced four weeks early with Isaac because of problems with my blood pressure. I arrived at the hospital early and waited for them to get me hooked up to everything. I had had a little to eat, at the instruction of my dr. and wasn’t sure how that tiny breakfast was supposed to last all day long and what energy I would be using to push the baby out. The Pitocin worked pretty slowly. At three my dr. recommended breaking my water to speed things along. I was dilated to 4 cm and I was feeling pretty good. If this is what labor felt like, I could totally handle it without drugs.

Within fifteen minutes of them breaking my water I was asking for some IV drugs. The nurse had barely left the room when I told my husband I needed the epidural. It hurt like hell. I held as still as I could for the epidural, a feat that I was sure would be impossible as the contractions took over my body. Once the anesthesiologist started the medicine I felt a lot better. Some friends visited and I was able to talk a little. At about six I started feeling pushy and the nurse checked me. Sure enough I was completely dilated. I started pushing. And pushing. And pushing. I got tired very quickly since I had no food to fuel me and the dr. offered to help with the vacuum. I gladly said yes, even though it was one of the interventions I had said that I absolutely did not want. So I pushed while the dr. pulled. I was yelling and yelling about how much it hurt (they had stopped the medicine) and finally, out came Isaac. They whisked him over to the newborn table to get him going. I had caught a glimpse of him beforehand, though. He was perfect.

Eva's Birth Story

I was induced a week early with Eva. I believe my dr. had mentioned something about my blood pressure, but it had been fine so I figured he just wanted me to have her when he would be in the office. I got to the hospital early, belly full of breakfast. I remembered how hungry and tired I had been the last time and thought that it was stupid to go hungry to an event that required marathon-runner stamina. The IV was the worst part. Two nurses tried twice with no luck. My savior came in the form of Snook, a nurse from the ER who popped that thing in my arm with ease. I offered to buy her a drink. Once I was hooked up, the nurses started me on Cytotec (even though the manufacturer warns that this drug should not be used for this purpose) to soften my cervix. After a little while of that, they hooked me up to pitocin. I had been 3 cm dilated already so it started working pretty quickly. At 2 o’clock, my dr. came in and offered to break my water to move things along. My initial reaction was, “no way, I remember what happened after he broke my water last time.” But I caved in. I wanted her out. Ian asked if he should let my mom know to come over and they told him no rush, it would probably be a while.

So he broke my water. And I asked for IV drugs again. And when the nurse left to get them I told my husband I needed the epidural. Again. This time, I sat extra still during the procedure. I thought I was going to die, it hurt so badly, but I knew I would have sweet relief soon. When the anesthesiologist said, “uh-oh,” I knew it was bad. Sure enough, the tube had not gone into the correct space and he needed to start over. I started crying and held still some more. By the time he was putting in the second tube I had felt the need to push and was quietly pushing while sitting upright in bed. He had no sooner finished and started to put some drugs in that I let out a loud scream and told them that they baby was coming. I yelled at Ian to get ready to catch her, grabbed my legs and started pushing. I pushed as hard as I could for fifteen minutes and watched my husband catch my daughter. I had dilated from 4 to 10 centimeters and had her within an hour of them breaking my water. She, too, was perfect.

Ella's Birth Story

I became pregnant with Ella when Eva was only 3 months old. I went to see my same dr. and went back into the high-risk prenatal routine I was used to. At about 20 weeks I told him that I didn’t want to do the same tests that he had had me do with Eva. He told me that was too bad and that I had to do them because I was considered high risk. I had had no problems with Eva so I thought, “that’s what you think, man.” I had been doing research on becoming a midwife through apprenticeship and found one who lived right next to me, thanks to a friend’s referral.

Her approach was so much better. It was holistic care, focused on nutrition and letting my body do what it was designed to do. I elected for a water birth. At about 36 weeks I was dilated to three cm. And I just kept on dilating. I was dilated to 6 cm when my husband left for work at 8:30 on May 28th. I had felt nauseated that morning and was having the same old contractions I’d become accustomed to in the previous month. At 8:45 I had a really long one and it hurt! Then I had another one that felt really weird and I knew I was in labor. I called my midwife, Tiffany, who lives four houses down from me and let her know. Then I called my husband who had just gotten to work and asked him to come home. My brother came and got Isaac and my mom came and helped put Eva down for a nap. I was very blessed that my body had been getting ready for so long. I got into my birth tub after a while and the warm water helped so much. I tried to surrender completely to what was happening and went into a different consciousness where I would moan in a low tone during a contraction and relax as much as possible in between. I got to ten cm very quickly. I began pushing around 11:05. Ella was born at 11:10, right as Eva woke from her nap. It was the most amazing experience ever. I am so glad that I trusted my body and had her in the comfort of my own home, at my own pace. I now have three perfect children and if we have any more, I’m doing it at home.

Mini van update...already

Okay. My mini van totally rocks!

Dinosaur Michael and Horse Michael

By Isaac

The blue dinosaur and horse ate yellow hay in the red barn that turned green and then red again. Then they went to the movies to see… a movie. They ate popcorn. Then they played in the playing theater, which is right next to the watching theater. Chango, the monkey, attacked them. They were injured but they got better. They both attacked chango and killed him. The End.

Someone has been watching Daddy and Uncle Steven play video games way too much.

Planes, trains and...mini vans?

I have a confession to make. I have been fantasizing about something my husband would definitely not approve of… No, not that, get your mind out of the gutter. Mini vans. Yes, I hate to say it, but I have van envy. I’ve been staying up at night while Ian’s at work, surfing Craigslist and Autotrader for an inexpensive van. I’ve passed them on the street while I go somewhere with the kids, longing for the extra space to bring one of my sisters-in-law (and her child) along so my poor mom doesn’t have to keep going places with me as a pseudo-nanny. I’ve even driven to Portland just to test drive a Eurovan. (With Ian’s permission of course, that’s the only van he would consider owning).

When we got married, we vowed to love, honor and cherish. To have and to hold, ‘til death do us part. And to never, ever own a mini van. (Well, that wasn’t verbally expressed at the wedding, but we were both thinking it). Well, we broke that vow today. We are the proud new owners of a Dodge Grand Caravan. Not really proud. Forced out of necessity is more like it. But it really isn’t as bad as I thought it would be. Sure, I feel like I’ve aged ten years when I climb into my Mommy Missile, but it’s surprisingly comfy. And it has a working radio, with a CD player to boot! Neither of our cars has had a working radio for at least a year now. At least something positive has come of this.

I’m sure I’ll stop grimacing soon when I say the word, “mini van.” It might even be in the next few days, after we’ve really had the chance to go somewhere with the kids in our spacious new automobile. I’ll probably even be telling everyone I know that they should get a mini van in a week or two. But for now, I’m still adjusting…

Give Birth a Chance

In our culture, birth is unfortunately presented as a scary illness where something can go wrong at any second. If you buy that then you should know that many elderly people die on the toilet due to straining while, well, you know why people strain on the toilet. (This is a result of stimulating the vagus nerve, which causes a big drop in heart rate; not so good if you’ve got a bad ticker). Why then are people over the age of 65 not strongly advised to go to the hospital or their clinic whenever they have to poo? Because it’s ridiculous, that’s why. Because it's a normal, natural process...

I firmly believe that healthy pregnant women have the right to have their babies at home or in birth centers attended by midwives. Why is that? This is how they do it in many other areas of the world. But just because everyone else does something doesn’t mean we should follow suit, right? Wrong. The United States has higher fetal and maternal death rates than some third world countries and since only 1% of babies are born at home, one can only deduce that this is happening in the hospital. How can this be when we have so much wonderful technology available? It’s that technology that gets us in trouble. Women are no longer taught to trust their bodies. We are given the message that we need a machine to tell us when we have contractions or when the baby is ready to come out. Trust me, you know.

Continuous electronic fetal monitoring keeps women strapped to the bed when the only conclusion that has come from numerous studies is that EFM leads to many unnecessary c-sections. Not to mention the fact that all these wires keep women stuck in bed to labor on their backs, which is the MOST uncomfortable position to have your baby in. The only worse position would be to do it upside down. However, if someone were able to profit from it, I’m sure it would be suggested that women give birth that way.

There are other reasons for our terrible statistics: hospital-acquired infections, inducing too early, induction period that causes way too much stress on the baby with harder and faster contractions. Using Cytotec, an ulcer drug used to soften the cervix that has been proven to rupture a woman’s uterus and cause fetal death. This of course leads to more epidurals earlier in labor, which leads to exhaustion and higher vacuum and forceps use and c-sections. Not to mention the fact that women aren’t allowed to eat when they are about to face the most grueling work their bodies can do. Would you set off on a cross-country road trip on an empty tank of gas? Didn’t think so. This used to be done to prevent women from aspirating during surgery but today most women are awake during c-section and fully aware of when they will be sick.

The domino effect of medical intervention is staggering considering that most of them are completely unnecessary. Birth is a normal, natural process. Women have historically tended to other women during labor and birth. It wasn’t until male practitioners came along that everything took a turn for the worse. Don’t get me wrong. Doctors are great. Women with high-risk pregnancies need those doctors and the technologies that the hospitals provide. But most women aren’t high risk. And the ones that are told they are should really do their research and be fully educated on the reasons for their high-risk classification before they take anyone’s word for it. A woman has the right to decide how she wants her birth to go. We need to throw the fear out the window and give birth a chance.

Sources include: Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth by Ina May Gaskin and Misconceptions by Naomi Wolf and Ricki Lake’s documentary, The Business of Being Born.

Cloth Diapering in a Nutshell

I stumbled into the world of cloth diapers completely unaware of what I’d find. My discoveries were amazing. There really is a whole cloth diaper subculture! Diapers can be cute! Rinsing poo off of a cloth diaper can be almost fun if you have a spray nozzle thingy!

So here are a few tips to beginners who might be as clueless as I was:

In case you're on the fence about whether you should try cloth diapering, you should know that these are not your mom’s cloth diapers. Gone are the huge squares that require the folding skills of an origami master. They have been replaced by prefolds (very cheap), fitted diapers, pocket diapers and all-in-ones (not very cheap). There are even some hybrids out there! (No they will not save you money on gas). What’s better is that you won’t risk stabbing that wriggling toddler with a diaper pin. There are wonderful elastic, T-shaped things with little claws that keep the diaper together called Snappis. Or better than that, Velcro! Many of the cloth diapers made today have snap or Velcro closures that make diapering your baby a breeze. And once you have the diaper on, you just put on a pretty, waterproof diaper cover. Yes, I said pretty. Covers today come in all sorts of colors and patterns. You won’t want to cover them up!
For a comprehensive explanation of the different types of diapers, go to http://www.diaperjungle.com/

If you’re in this to save some money consider buying used diapers. Yes, used as in already been peed and pooped in. Don’t worry, the baby won’t care. While cloth diapers are much cheaper than disposables, you may be enticed by the beautiful designer diapers that cost a lot. If you’re like me and you really want them but don’t want to pay full price, you’ll find that there are other ways to get your hands on them. Ebay has several auctions for used diapers. There is also a Web site called http://www.babycottonbottoms.com/ that has a bargain basement where moms (or dads) can post their used diapers and accessories. They offer good savings on diapers and they can also let you know how well they worked for their baby’s shape. I began cloth diapering with our second child who is a little chunky. I can already tell that our third baby will take after the first and be skinny for a long time. Because of that I’m going to be selling some of Eva’s diapers to buy ones that will fit my skinny baby better. Selling your old cloth diapers is a great way to recoup some of your initial investment. If only Target would buy back used disposable diapers…

Experiment. This is the best way to find out what will work best for your baby. As I said before, there are so many different kinds of diapers out there; it’s hard to know what your favorite will be unless you try them all. A great way to do this is with a sample package. Many cloth diaper retailers offer a beginner’s package that comes with a combination of prefolds and covers, fitteds and all-in-ones. If you have friends that cloth diaper you can ask if they would lend you some diapers for a couple of days so you can get a feel for them.

If you have good sewing skills (or even not so good sewing skills) you can make your own cloth diapers. There are many patterns and instructions online for making your own diapers. If you’re good at it you could even sell them for some extra cash.

Lastly, and most importantly, get a spray nozzle thingy! “What the heck is she talking about,” you may wonder. I am talking about a nozzle that attaches to your toilet that you use to spray the mess out of the cloth diaper. When I first began cloth diapering I would cringe when I saw Eva grunt and turn various shades of red and purple. “Great,” I thought, “I’ve got to stick my hand in the toilet and swish the diaper around and then move it to the sink because I won’t be able to get it all off. Why did I get into cloth diapering, again?” I was very glad when I went to a friend’s house and used the spray nozzle that was attached to her toilet. Not only does it allow you to get everything off of the diaper, but it’s also fun for those of us who like instant gratification. (I am easily amused). You will have to wring out the diaper before you throw it in the diaper pail, but at least it’s not poopy. Being a parent is messy business.

*Many Web sites carry a spray nozzle for around $35. If that’s out of your price range (it was for me) go the hardware store and get a nozzle for the kitchen sink and you’ll need a few connectors to attach it to your toilet. It’s cheaper. Ask the employees at the hardware store for help if you have no idea what I’m talking about, they’ll just need to know what size you need.

Meet Nina

As I sit at the computer, I find myself wondering why I started a blog. I like to write, yes, and I’ve got plenty that I could write about, but will it be interesting enough for others to want to keep reading? I hope so, but if not, oh well. Writing has always been a helpful outlet for me, and as a mostly single mom, God knows I need an outlet.

My name is Nina, well, that’s not my legal name but it’s what everyone calls me. This is the part where I usually delve into information about my husband and kids, but then that wouldn’t really give much insight into who I am as a person. So here I am, wondering, “who am I, really?” My identity has become so entrenched in my role as wife and mother that seeing myself as an individual apart from everyone else is just strange. And, frankly, it’s taking me a while to come up with something to write about just me. Okay, here goes.

I’ve undergone quite the transformation in the last few years. Spiritually, I find myself enjoying a greater relationship with God than ever before and after battling with chronic depression for years, I now have joy in my life. I have also come out of my shell, so to speak, something I had wished would happen for years but was always too scared to attempt. I’m no social butterfly but I no longer find myself sitting silently in the corner at my husband’s fire department functions, speaking some barely audible response to those who would ask how I was doing.

Birth. Birth is my passion. It’s been the only constant thing I’ve wanted to be involved in since I was six. Not only my own births, though I have had three children in the last 3 ½ years, but other women’s births as well. I’ve begun a business as a birth doula recently so that I could support women during one of the greatest events of their lives. Someday I’ll be a midwife.

I use cloth diapers on my kids, not just to save the environment, (my husband claims I’m becoming a hippy. Heck yes!) but to save money so that I can stay home with my children and live on one meager salary. I’m interested in greener living; I’ve started recycling and want to begin composting. I am also on a mission to get out of debt, quickly at that, and to not accrue anymore. I want a simple life.

I am a mother to three wonderful children. Separating my identity from them isn’t really possible, since being their mother is the greatest and most fulfilling part of my life. Isaac is 3 ½ and incredibly active and independent. He has a wonderful spirit. Eva is my sweetheart. She’s 13 months old and has a smile that will light up your heart. Ella is the new baby. At just 8 weeks old, we are still getting to know each other. She smiles at me now as she nurses and it makes me so grateful that we had an “oops” baby.

And my life wouldn’t be what it is without Ian. We’ve been married almost six years.
We’ve been through a lot together: miscarrying our first baby, welcoming new life, betrayal, making up, and our relationship has never been stronger. He’s my best friend, the love of my life and the sexiest man I’ve ever met.

There’s a peek into my life. If you’re interested, please come back for more. I have plenty of time on my hands and lots to write about!